There's a hole in my heart
Seems like I've always been trying to fill with the treasures of life
The pleasures of the night but nothing ever will
There's a restlessness deep in my soul
And I know it's ruining me
All these regrets of mine haunt me all the time
They won't let me sleep
[chorus]
Oh but sooner or later I'm going to get some rest
Throw the world off my shoulders
Get this weight off my chest
Oh I know that it won't be tonight
But I 'm going to keep looking until I find
A little peace of mind, yeah
I don't know how you knew just what to say just what to do
To leave but still stay to walk away and keep me hanging on to you
Oh can't you see what your love has made of me
My feet keep pacing
It's you I'm still chasing
God I wish I could sleep
[chorus x2]
Oh but sooner or later I'm going to get some rest
Throw the world off my shoulders
Get this weight off my chest
Oh I know that it won't be tonight
but I'm going to keep looking until I find
A little peace of mind, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
A little peace of mind, yeah
A little peace of mind
A little peace of mind, yeah
[Fade]
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I went to the woods
I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. - H Thoreau
Friday, June 20, 2008
Octopus, anyone?
I had baby octopus yesterday.
For the first time.
I do try not to get too adventurous when it comes to food.
But, what the heck!
We were in a Japanese restaurant; the menu had octopus, baby octopus, and jellyfish, among others.
If they are wrapped up in a sushi, they wouldn't bite me, right?
So, I asked for it.
Fish eggs and eel were a challenge for me, last time. I got over it this time.
ew!
I still have to work on enjoying them. It was mostly pick, and gobble, instead of any slow chewing or savoring.
Octopuses are quite another story.
Looks creepy actually, since they were cut and put on top of the sushi roll, instead of inside the roll.
Tastes like rubber band, someone said.
Not bad.
The biggest step is to pick it and put it in your month. Then on, it is easy.
Once you chew, the challenge is already over.
I did it!
Dharma says octopuses are like humans, eating them is like eating a person.
That gets me thinking.
Would you eat people that you don’t like ? or those who give you the creeps ?
For the first time.
I do try not to get too adventurous when it comes to food.
But, what the heck!
We were in a Japanese restaurant; the menu had octopus, baby octopus, and jellyfish, among others.
If they are wrapped up in a sushi, they wouldn't bite me, right?
So, I asked for it.
Fish eggs and eel were a challenge for me, last time. I got over it this time.
ew!
I still have to work on enjoying them. It was mostly pick, and gobble, instead of any slow chewing or savoring.
Octopuses are quite another story.
Looks creepy actually, since they were cut and put on top of the sushi roll, instead of inside the roll.
Tastes like rubber band, someone said.
Not bad.
The biggest step is to pick it and put it in your month. Then on, it is easy.
Once you chew, the challenge is already over.
I did it!
Dharma says octopuses are like humans, eating them is like eating a person.
That gets me thinking.
Would you eat people that you don’t like ? or those who give you the creeps ?
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Helen Klein
I heard Helen Klein speak today afternoon.
What an amazing woman. Extraordinary athlete holds several world records....
The fascinating aspect of her story is that she started as late as her mid-fiftes to run.
Maybe when I am that old, I will try something ;)
She starts with a dateline clip of her 1995 Eco Challenge.
That is a 300+ miles of mountain biking, horseback riding, whitewater rafting, canoeing, and rock climbing and running.
Phew!
She was 72 then.
Watching the clip with her in the room, I thought - this lady lives in my neighborhood, and maybe I have passed by her some where on the American river trail. Just didn’t know she was this accomplished.
So, I came back, looking for her on the net. Surprisingly, couldn’t get through the complete picture.
Tried Wikipedia- drew a blank.
So, I think I'll start something there for her.
Read what Norman says about her in the last paragraph.
http://www.in-forum.com/articles/rss.cfm?id=127213
What an amazing woman. Extraordinary athlete holds several world records....
The fascinating aspect of her story is that she started as late as her mid-fiftes to run.
Maybe when I am that old, I will try something ;)
She starts with a dateline clip of her 1995 Eco Challenge.
That is a 300+ miles of mountain biking, horseback riding, whitewater rafting, canoeing, and rock climbing and running.
Phew!
She was 72 then.
Watching the clip with her in the room, I thought - this lady lives in my neighborhood, and maybe I have passed by her some where on the American river trail. Just didn’t know she was this accomplished.
So, I came back, looking for her on the net. Surprisingly, couldn’t get through the complete picture.
Tried Wikipedia- drew a blank.
So, I think I'll start something there for her.
Read what Norman says about her in the last paragraph.
http://www.in-forum.com/articles/rss.cfm?id=127213
Friday, May 30, 2008
May 30th, 2008
We are human beings, not human doings.
Our hearts and souls shine through when we let passion and purpose lead our lives.
- Lisa Hammond
Our hearts and souls shine through when we let passion and purpose lead our lives.
- Lisa Hammond
Thursday, May 22, 2008
A Scary incident
I have to write this down.
Yesterday, after we finished with our dinner and stuff, we all went upstairs to retire. I came down a bit later to get some water and mid-night snacks.
Switched the kitchen light, got the water, and then I heard it.
A strange muffled noise.
I froze.
Is someone in there? I looked around. Maybe the garage? Or was it by the backyard? I tried to play it down - maybe I was simply imagining.
Then I heard it again.
No!
This time I am sure it was a languishing noise.
Was it a floating eerie thing?
So, I called out to Dharma.
When he came down, I doubted whether he would hear the same thing.
Maybe this was something only I could hear; maybe something was trying to communicate (or scare) to me alone.
Thankfully, it came again.
This time - a series of giggles, and then a child's voice.
The giggles were scary. Then we laughed with relief.
It came from Rebecca's laptop.
Her online games were still on. And that was the source.
Phew!
Lesson learnt - Never leave your applications on.
Yesterday, after we finished with our dinner and stuff, we all went upstairs to retire. I came down a bit later to get some water and mid-night snacks.
Switched the kitchen light, got the water, and then I heard it.
A strange muffled noise.
I froze.
Is someone in there? I looked around. Maybe the garage? Or was it by the backyard? I tried to play it down - maybe I was simply imagining.
Then I heard it again.
No!
This time I am sure it was a languishing noise.
Was it a floating eerie thing?
So, I called out to Dharma.
When he came down, I doubted whether he would hear the same thing.
Maybe this was something only I could hear; maybe something was trying to communicate (or scare) to me alone.
Thankfully, it came again.
This time - a series of giggles, and then a child's voice.
The giggles were scary. Then we laughed with relief.
It came from Rebecca's laptop.
Her online games were still on. And that was the source.
Phew!
Lesson learnt - Never leave your applications on.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Words that wonder around...
Pet words – every one has a few.
They change over time.
Words or phrases that simply pop up repeatedly.
Phrases are easy to notice.
Some times intentionally, otherwise just so. They get so habitual, that are you would not even notice it.
Unless someone points the peculiarity of the usage.
Or maybe years later, it strikes you back. You could be amused even embarrassed, thinking about it wondering why that was lingering on.
Specially, teachers and bosses and preachers and the limelight hoarders – their words are easy to notice.
You would notice the peculiar ones, point it out, tease and laugh or even mimic someone effectively --simply by observing the words that they generally use.
I find them wander about my head, randomly. And so, I fish and utilize them randomly.
Sometimes, I find myself using words even when I know for a fact that they don’t fit exactly. Yet, I fish them again.
Why?
Heck, its convenient – why bother to hunt for some, when you have a few others ready, already?
Its part of the jargon.
Others use and understand them too,
They cool.
Whatever.
I try to consciously keep away from very common phrases simply because they were too common.
Like ‘timepass’ .
Eww!! – can’t stand that. That’s sounds too shallow and wasteful.
‘Rocks’ – don’t like that either.
Or ‘cute’
Don’t know what I had against cute- its seems okay now.
‘Bekaar’ – I don’t like, yet I use it.
‘Eccentric idiot’ ‘nutcase’ – Ah! Haven’t used that in ages. I have to find someone to use it against . Ha ha !!
‘Nut’ – overused it too many times to count. Currently in the archives.
I use ‘occasionally’ ‘obviously’ ‘absolutely fine’ ‘good so far’
That were sometimes peculiar lingo to
But then, what the heck, who cares?
Time and again, I think – What was I thinking?
I think Obama uses the word ‘notion’ while Hillary uses ‘motion’ quite peculiarly.
Heard that?
They change over time.
Words or phrases that simply pop up repeatedly.
Phrases are easy to notice.
Some times intentionally, otherwise just so. They get so habitual, that are you would not even notice it.
Unless someone points the peculiarity of the usage.
Or maybe years later, it strikes you back. You could be amused even embarrassed, thinking about it wondering why that was lingering on.
Specially, teachers and bosses and preachers and the limelight hoarders – their words are easy to notice.
You would notice the peculiar ones, point it out, tease and laugh or even mimic someone effectively --simply by observing the words that they generally use.
I find them wander about my head, randomly. And so, I fish and utilize them randomly.
Sometimes, I find myself using words even when I know for a fact that they don’t fit exactly. Yet, I fish them again.
Why?
Heck, its convenient – why bother to hunt for some, when you have a few others ready, already?
Its part of the jargon.
Others use and understand them too,
They cool.
Whatever.
I try to consciously keep away from very common phrases simply because they were too common.
Like ‘timepass’ .
Eww!! – can’t stand that. That’s sounds too shallow and wasteful.
‘Rocks’ – don’t like that either.
Or ‘cute’
Don’t know what I had against cute- its seems okay now.
‘Bekaar’ – I don’t like, yet I use it.
‘Eccentric idiot’ ‘nutcase’ – Ah! Haven’t used that in ages. I have to find someone to use it against . Ha ha !!
‘Nut’ – overused it too many times to count. Currently in the archives.
I use ‘occasionally’ ‘obviously’ ‘absolutely fine’ ‘good so far’
That were sometimes peculiar lingo to
But then, what the heck, who cares?
Time and again, I think – What was I thinking?
I think Obama uses the word ‘notion’ while Hillary uses ‘motion’ quite peculiarly.
Heard that?
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
The year so far
The year's been heady so far.
A new baby
A new home.
Losing the baby weight rapidly.
Back to work in 7 weeks.
A new neighborhood, longer commutes.
Eating marundu koulumbu day after day after day - this one isnt charming.
Well, 10 mins more commute isn’t much, and not having to cook is fun, but I just have to crib, so I do.
Nathan’s been an easy baby so far. It is a joy to see how Rebecca perceives and talks to Nathan.
Huge changes.
Mother of two kids, ha!
The other day, when someone asked me how are the children doing , I almost shot back – what children ? I only have one child.
No, no, no – I now have two.
People with two kids are supposed to responsible, in control, organized, apt jugglers - dropping a few balls, but overall doing it all.
Aren’t they the ones that are forever tired, forever hurrying, and grouchy? Either bragging or complaining about their kids.
Ouch!
I can see myself running after my kids. But I don’t feel any different.
Yet I know my life is in for a bigger swing.
Buying a home and then moving is a lot of work too.
Getting into those tasks within 3 weeks of giving birth is something else. Not a super feat, but I feel blessed to be able to do it.
We had a couple of surprises too – like stumbling into a much larger, better home than we hoped to.
Planned to buy just the bare basics for our home, and just in time, surprise - we got a good deal of furnishing to fill it.
Having a pity party for being excluded in the appreciated pool. And then getting included. How’s that for a surprise.
My brother diversifying his business has been another pleasant surprise. Whenever he ventures into a risk area, knowing how cautious he is, we all are. We like to think that he is predictable, yet he has pulled in a few big ones.
I feel great, and then bad news hits.
I cringe and I flinch.
Recurring cancer for a colleague.
This was supposed to be done with.
Yet it was returned and threatens to loom large now.
The words that come to my mind are - unfair. Insane. Rude joke. Thoughtlessness. Unthinkable. Why? Why? why ?
I have experienced the harshness of the disease just a few years back.
I am not ready for this.
A new baby
A new home.
Losing the baby weight rapidly.
Back to work in 7 weeks.
A new neighborhood, longer commutes.
Eating marundu koulumbu day after day after day - this one isnt charming.
Well, 10 mins more commute isn’t much, and not having to cook is fun, but I just have to crib, so I do.
Nathan’s been an easy baby so far. It is a joy to see how Rebecca perceives and talks to Nathan.
Huge changes.
Mother of two kids, ha!
The other day, when someone asked me how are the children doing , I almost shot back – what children ? I only have one child.
No, no, no – I now have two.
People with two kids are supposed to responsible, in control, organized, apt jugglers - dropping a few balls, but overall doing it all.
Aren’t they the ones that are forever tired, forever hurrying, and grouchy? Either bragging or complaining about their kids.
Ouch!
I can see myself running after my kids. But I don’t feel any different.
Yet I know my life is in for a bigger swing.
Buying a home and then moving is a lot of work too.
Getting into those tasks within 3 weeks of giving birth is something else. Not a super feat, but I feel blessed to be able to do it.
We had a couple of surprises too – like stumbling into a much larger, better home than we hoped to.
Planned to buy just the bare basics for our home, and just in time, surprise - we got a good deal of furnishing to fill it.
Having a pity party for being excluded in the appreciated pool. And then getting included. How’s that for a surprise.
My brother diversifying his business has been another pleasant surprise. Whenever he ventures into a risk area, knowing how cautious he is, we all are. We like to think that he is predictable, yet he has pulled in a few big ones.
I feel great, and then bad news hits.
I cringe and I flinch.
Recurring cancer for a colleague.
This was supposed to be done with.
Yet it was returned and threatens to loom large now.
The words that come to my mind are - unfair. Insane. Rude joke. Thoughtlessness. Unthinkable. Why? Why? why ?
I have experienced the harshness of the disease just a few years back.
I am not ready for this.
A few thoughts of others
Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why ? Just as the seed of health is in illness, because illness contains information, your fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if you explore them.- Marilyn Ferguson
Our friendship is like a bank account - growing in propotion to the amount of interest we pay.- B J Gallagher
The phrase "working mother" is redundant- Jane Sellman
http://www.epinions.com/kifm-review-5109-70B0375-39FF0F7A-prod1
www.thinkexist.com
Our friendship is like a bank account - growing in propotion to the amount of interest we pay.- B J Gallagher
The phrase "working mother" is redundant- Jane Sellman
http://www.epinions.com/kifm-review-5109-70B0375-39FF0F7A-prod1
www.thinkexist.com
Thursday, October 25, 2007
August 2007
August this year has been an insane month for me. It has been such an excruciating time emotionally, and I could actually feel the effects of stress physically. It is useless trying to tell yourself to calm down and arrest the stress, it does not happen that way. Your body doesn’t listen if your mind is whirling.
How do you soothe your mind ?
Sure, lots and lots of people go through similar crisis. It is a fact of life, Things happen this way. You aren’t the first person experiencing this. And so on.
Yes, I know.
The facts are – It is hurting, yes, it will hurt, and time will heal, and you will learn to get through this.
Like hell that helps.
Looking back, I still can remember just after chatting with my father, the thought came to my mind, that it was a good thing that he is healthy and leads an active life. Although it means staying away from home for months, at least he is engaged in his work, and busy enough to keep way from the worry we all shared at that point. As a family, we have fretted, worried, and worried about this just not happening the way it should in spite of all our endeavors.
And the next thing I know is that he is the hospital.
How did that happen?
I felt relief hearing it was not an accident. It cant be bad, I tried to tell myself. He is generally fit, he is aware of his diabetes; he will be out of this in a jiffy.
If only.
It had started just like that for my mother.
She too had felt discomfort, and didn’t know that she was having an attack.
And then we lost her within two years.
Does it have to happen when I am pregnant?
I don’t see the relation, but then it has been both the times. How can I not be aware of it?
And fret and feel miserable.
From a small discomfort and a visit for a general checkup, I couldn’t accept that it was just a minor heart attack.
And then how about an Endoscopy ?
No this more serious than that.
Oh, by the way, go to Bangalore, Panjim isn’t the right place.
Let’s go for a bypass. That will be the right solution.
Just one ?
No, He needs four.
Couldn’t help but wonder if this nightmare is rerunning all over again.
No, it can’t be.
As I listed reasons why it can’t the overwhelming fear lingered on.
Well, the things that you count on as being reasonably intact and in control, when they turn unpredictable, they shake you so.
Its times like this that everything that you believe in and trust takes a beating, and the fleeting-ness of life stares at you.
Thankfully, I could fly home and spend some time. See for myself how things are.
October is almost ending now, and I am just beginning to breath easily now since things are slowly getting back to 'normal'.
At least it seems so now.
Two things I have learnt from this
Be grateful for the life and health that you have.
Not so charmingly, I can separate genuine well-wishers from the rest.
I hoped desperately that family and friends we counted on would stand by us during this difficult time.
It’s been a mixed bag so far.
How do you soothe your mind ?
Sure, lots and lots of people go through similar crisis. It is a fact of life, Things happen this way. You aren’t the first person experiencing this. And so on.
Yes, I know.
The facts are – It is hurting, yes, it will hurt, and time will heal, and you will learn to get through this.
Like hell that helps.
Looking back, I still can remember just after chatting with my father, the thought came to my mind, that it was a good thing that he is healthy and leads an active life. Although it means staying away from home for months, at least he is engaged in his work, and busy enough to keep way from the worry we all shared at that point. As a family, we have fretted, worried, and worried about this just not happening the way it should in spite of all our endeavors.
And the next thing I know is that he is the hospital.
How did that happen?
I felt relief hearing it was not an accident. It cant be bad, I tried to tell myself. He is generally fit, he is aware of his diabetes; he will be out of this in a jiffy.
If only.
It had started just like that for my mother.
She too had felt discomfort, and didn’t know that she was having an attack.
And then we lost her within two years.
Does it have to happen when I am pregnant?
I don’t see the relation, but then it has been both the times. How can I not be aware of it?
And fret and feel miserable.
From a small discomfort and a visit for a general checkup, I couldn’t accept that it was just a minor heart attack.
And then how about an Endoscopy ?
No this more serious than that.
Oh, by the way, go to Bangalore, Panjim isn’t the right place.
Let’s go for a bypass. That will be the right solution.
Just one ?
No, He needs four.
Couldn’t help but wonder if this nightmare is rerunning all over again.
No, it can’t be.
As I listed reasons why it can’t the overwhelming fear lingered on.
Well, the things that you count on as being reasonably intact and in control, when they turn unpredictable, they shake you so.
Its times like this that everything that you believe in and trust takes a beating, and the fleeting-ness of life stares at you.
Thankfully, I could fly home and spend some time. See for myself how things are.
October is almost ending now, and I am just beginning to breath easily now since things are slowly getting back to 'normal'.
At least it seems so now.
Two things I have learnt from this
Be grateful for the life and health that you have.
Not so charmingly, I can separate genuine well-wishers from the rest.
I hoped desperately that family and friends we counted on would stand by us during this difficult time.
It’s been a mixed bag so far.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Superfruits
Superfruits? Acai. Jujube. Seabuckthorn. Goji. Mangosteen. Pomegranate. Blueberry. Raspberry.
some good links
http://www.superfruits.org/
http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/104/107640.htm
some good links
http://www.superfruits.org/
http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/104/107640.htm
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
The dreadful ER
It has been a really long time since I bragged - eh, wrote about something in this blog.
So, here goes...
Yesterday night was dramatic, and I still have not made peace with the medical emergency system in this country.
Like everyone else, I want to keep away from it as much as I can.
Rebecca woke up after midnight crying, she would not stop with all the cajoling that Dharma and I could muster.
Seemed like she was having stomachache. Therefore, we gave her prune juice, cookies (?) - Why cookies - because she wanted that. So, I gave her. We were at our wits end, so anything to stop the tears.
The crying was not stopping, so we suggested about going to the doctor.oh, she was eager to go see the doctor.
Funny how kids are -If only they knew - how do you convince them that is not so great to be so enthusiastic.
Go on, believe.
The emergency room - it is the most punishing of all places that I have been to.
It is annoying, slow, painful, and whole lot of equally disturbing emotions.
As a parent, its one of the last experiences that you want to be in when your child is in pain.
Then, this is still, and this is how it works here.
As we pulled in the entrance, it was almost 12:40, and the waiting area had two parties waiting.
Phew! What a relief I thought, maybe a late night visit is not so bad - I had no idea how wrong I was then.
I was breathing well, when we signed in at once, Rebecca was excited about her 'bracelet' - the hospital tag that they tie on the patient’s wrist.
The emergency Room is just the same night or day - you check in, and you wait - and wait - and wait some more.
You wait until your patience nears its end, you wait until you resign and admit your helplessness and hopelessness. That is what emergency rooms are to me - these are effective breaking grounds.
Therefore, we waited for a good hour and a half, although graciously we were told that we will be called anytime soon, and they are just shifting patients around.
Of course, we truly believe them - when they say it will be fast.
Enough to turn me cynical.
Mercifully, Rebecca was sleeping peacefully.
In fact, her sleep was so deep, that she did not even realize when I peeled off the stickers that she had on her cheeks. That day Evangalina had given her four stickers 2 for her cheeks, 2 for her palms. She did not want them off while have a bath. Now, I could take them off.
After us, only one other party checked in.
Then they called us in, got a bed.
The doctor comes, and checks and suggests to either have a urine test - just to confirm her diagnosis - or simply go the Motrin way- give Motrin, if it persists then your pursue else forget it.
I think this really was the best part of our visit.
It is a huge relief that nothing is wrong indeed.
Equally reassuring is the experience that doctors and the nurses give us in our interaction. Just coming across as competent, involved people dispels our fears.
We decide to get the test done so that it is out of the way.
Okay.
The chart on the wall says 30-60 minutes for a urine test result.
Does not seem like an overly busy night around here. Still, we know our wait will more closely to the 60 minutes rather than the 30 minutes.
With our luck, hmm that is more likely.
I guess I have no reason to grumble - after all nothing is wrong with Rebecca - she is sleeping well - and isn’t that a blessing and reason to be grateful about?
Stop cribbing I tell myself.
I think it was almost 30mintes past, when we hear conversations about the test being refused in the lab, and could you insist on a test nevertheless?
Was I simply being optimistic too quick, why did I think we’d get out of this place without events? Or delays?
It was almost 3am.
Oh, we cannot sleep anymore - it will be too difficult to wake up in 4 hours.
3:37am - I cannot stand this anymore - I want to know if the results have come.
As I approach one of the nurses - no, she says the result haven’t come - the doctor will come to you, if it does - she quickly dismisses me.
Of, course- what was I thinking really?
I was going to complain to Dharma, when the other nurse comes with the papers.
Thank you for your patience, she reads from it.
Indeed!
3:45 - checked out.
Maybe it’s just me - I am focusing on the negative more than the positive.
But 3 hours? Even when it wasn't a rush night?
To get ‘emergency’ care?
The only way to get fast attention is to be in graver shape I guess.
You shudder at the very thought. Can’t wish that for anyone.
Why keep everyone one waiting on the edge while waiting for beds to be available. Just like Rebecca, there must good percentages who don’t need to be admitted. How about screening the cases, so that patients like Rebecca can make way for the others. Why not improve to make the waiting torment shorter? So, that people can come and move in or out instead of waiting watching the remoreness of a hospital room.
Is there no way??
That is hard to believe.
If ever- with the emphasis on the IF – this system improves, a whole lot of unnecessary stress will be out.
So, here goes...
Yesterday night was dramatic, and I still have not made peace with the medical emergency system in this country.
Like everyone else, I want to keep away from it as much as I can.
Rebecca woke up after midnight crying, she would not stop with all the cajoling that Dharma and I could muster.
Seemed like she was having stomachache. Therefore, we gave her prune juice, cookies (?) - Why cookies - because she wanted that. So, I gave her. We were at our wits end, so anything to stop the tears.
The crying was not stopping, so we suggested about going to the doctor.oh, she was eager to go see the doctor.
Funny how kids are -If only they knew - how do you convince them that is not so great to be so enthusiastic.
Go on, believe.
The emergency room - it is the most punishing of all places that I have been to.
It is annoying, slow, painful, and whole lot of equally disturbing emotions.
As a parent, its one of the last experiences that you want to be in when your child is in pain.
Then, this is still, and this is how it works here.
As we pulled in the entrance, it was almost 12:40, and the waiting area had two parties waiting.
Phew! What a relief I thought, maybe a late night visit is not so bad - I had no idea how wrong I was then.
I was breathing well, when we signed in at once, Rebecca was excited about her 'bracelet' - the hospital tag that they tie on the patient’s wrist.
The emergency Room is just the same night or day - you check in, and you wait - and wait - and wait some more.
You wait until your patience nears its end, you wait until you resign and admit your helplessness and hopelessness. That is what emergency rooms are to me - these are effective breaking grounds.
Therefore, we waited for a good hour and a half, although graciously we were told that we will be called anytime soon, and they are just shifting patients around.
Of course, we truly believe them - when they say it will be fast.
Enough to turn me cynical.
Mercifully, Rebecca was sleeping peacefully.
In fact, her sleep was so deep, that she did not even realize when I peeled off the stickers that she had on her cheeks. That day Evangalina had given her four stickers 2 for her cheeks, 2 for her palms. She did not want them off while have a bath. Now, I could take them off.
After us, only one other party checked in.
Then they called us in, got a bed.
The doctor comes, and checks and suggests to either have a urine test - just to confirm her diagnosis - or simply go the Motrin way- give Motrin, if it persists then your pursue else forget it.
I think this really was the best part of our visit.
It is a huge relief that nothing is wrong indeed.
Equally reassuring is the experience that doctors and the nurses give us in our interaction. Just coming across as competent, involved people dispels our fears.
We decide to get the test done so that it is out of the way.
Okay.
The chart on the wall says 30-60 minutes for a urine test result.
Does not seem like an overly busy night around here. Still, we know our wait will more closely to the 60 minutes rather than the 30 minutes.
With our luck, hmm that is more likely.
I guess I have no reason to grumble - after all nothing is wrong with Rebecca - she is sleeping well - and isn’t that a blessing and reason to be grateful about?
Stop cribbing I tell myself.
I think it was almost 30mintes past, when we hear conversations about the test being refused in the lab, and could you insist on a test nevertheless?
Was I simply being optimistic too quick, why did I think we’d get out of this place without events? Or delays?
It was almost 3am.
Oh, we cannot sleep anymore - it will be too difficult to wake up in 4 hours.
3:37am - I cannot stand this anymore - I want to know if the results have come.
As I approach one of the nurses - no, she says the result haven’t come - the doctor will come to you, if it does - she quickly dismisses me.
Of, course- what was I thinking really?
I was going to complain to Dharma, when the other nurse comes with the papers.
Thank you for your patience, she reads from it.
Indeed!
3:45 - checked out.
Maybe it’s just me - I am focusing on the negative more than the positive.
But 3 hours? Even when it wasn't a rush night?
To get ‘emergency’ care?
The only way to get fast attention is to be in graver shape I guess.
You shudder at the very thought. Can’t wish that for anyone.
Why keep everyone one waiting on the edge while waiting for beds to be available. Just like Rebecca, there must good percentages who don’t need to be admitted. How about screening the cases, so that patients like Rebecca can make way for the others. Why not improve to make the waiting torment shorter? So, that people can come and move in or out instead of waiting watching the remoreness of a hospital room.
Is there no way??
That is hard to believe.
If ever- with the emphasis on the IF – this system improves, a whole lot of unnecessary stress will be out.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Serenity
Over the weekend, I was generally grumbling about the fact that this weekend has been so boring; maybe we should have planned more exciting things to do.
Along with that came a thought.
I listed back what we did do
Friday night
After work, simply lazed around, read the mail, watched kipper with Rebecca
- Late night called some friends over to a newly opened udipi restrauant, then spent time with them till midnight.
Saturday
- Of course woke up late, cleaned the house, hearty lunch - I cooked this one.
- All of us snoozed for a 2 hour afternoon - it was supposed to be a 15 minute nap - what's the hurry? Nothing except that the sun will set soon.
- went biking over the river, eating strawberries & oranges. Just a different detour and the river look so serene. Saw some deers and rabbits.
- did the laundry...Got to register for the swimming...
- Wanted to watch Warren Betty's Reds - it’s too long for tonight, some other time...
Sunday
- did the groceries,
- Met Heidi - she wants to visit India. Iam not sure, but I am excited about teaching her some Hindi. Got to figure that out.
- went out to dinner with yet another set of friends late night. Why so late, cos that's when we remembered that we have to have dinner, he hee! Trust us. Surprise, Rebecca got new outfits... The weekend is over
Hey, wait its all over? That’s so quick.
Over all it seems time went by in a breeze, we didn’t really do anything except eat and laze and yap.
And some.
By definition the mundane is boring because it is dull and repetitive, Amazing how just the fact that nothing is 'out of order' but simply ' in order’ has the danger of seeming mundane. And how the small things that add a charm of life – strawberries by the river, just spotting the deers watching us across the road – these things are enjoyed but almost go unnoticed in the list of the ordinary.
Other privileges – simply to be in good health, being about to spend time with family and friends, laughter, small gifts - privileges by definition - are worth a celebration.
It is Monday already, off to work. Sparkling cider for someone's 17th year with the company just as the day's over. Back home.
Made a list for Costco, REI and Toys R Us. Got to pick a thing or two for the next weekend trip. Groan… Not today, maybe Wednesday, no maybe Thursday or so…
Oh, got to discuss that camping trip right now. So, off to another friend's place for yummy food and yes, to finalize the trip details.
Some restrained conversations.
Went over the checklist. Let’s check the tent.
We wrestled trying to set up a tent without its manual. Almost gave up, when Dharma figured we are missing a piece that joins all the poles. Hunted the garage. How do you spot a 5 inch something in a 3 car garage packed with stuff?
No point. Let’s do this or let’s do that. We’ll figure. It is getting late. So, let’s just pack up, and let tomorrow come.
Ha! Found it, the 5 inch star – in the bag as it was.
Less than 10 minutes to pitch the tent.
So, now that we are done, did we end the day sooner?
Eh, no? What the heck... with so much to chat about, chat, chat, chat some more. Off to bed just by midnight.
Again?
Yup.
I think I’ve read this more place, that only when the water is disturbed say, by a stone the calmness of the water body is appreciated.
The simple regularities of life give a sense of contentment.
Things in place, the mundane hum on.
The mundane threaten the calm.
It is a blessing indeed to have friends - people whom we can simply call, visit, and yap and share food with. Ah, yes the food helps... lost some sleep there, over two days in a row now. Got to catch up that now.
It is worth living...
Along with that came a thought.
I listed back what we did do
Friday night
After work, simply lazed around, read the mail, watched kipper with Rebecca
- Late night called some friends over to a newly opened udipi restrauant, then spent time with them till midnight.
Saturday
- Of course woke up late, cleaned the house, hearty lunch - I cooked this one.
- All of us snoozed for a 2 hour afternoon - it was supposed to be a 15 minute nap - what's the hurry? Nothing except that the sun will set soon.
- went biking over the river, eating strawberries & oranges. Just a different detour and the river look so serene. Saw some deers and rabbits.
- did the laundry...Got to register for the swimming...
- Wanted to watch Warren Betty's Reds - it’s too long for tonight, some other time...
Sunday
- did the groceries,
- Met Heidi - she wants to visit India. Iam not sure, but I am excited about teaching her some Hindi. Got to figure that out.
- went out to dinner with yet another set of friends late night. Why so late, cos that's when we remembered that we have to have dinner, he hee! Trust us. Surprise, Rebecca got new outfits... The weekend is over
Hey, wait its all over? That’s so quick.
Over all it seems time went by in a breeze, we didn’t really do anything except eat and laze and yap.
And some.
By definition the mundane is boring because it is dull and repetitive, Amazing how just the fact that nothing is 'out of order' but simply ' in order’ has the danger of seeming mundane. And how the small things that add a charm of life – strawberries by the river, just spotting the deers watching us across the road – these things are enjoyed but almost go unnoticed in the list of the ordinary.
Other privileges – simply to be in good health, being about to spend time with family and friends, laughter, small gifts - privileges by definition - are worth a celebration.
It is Monday already, off to work. Sparkling cider for someone's 17th year with the company just as the day's over. Back home.
Made a list for Costco, REI and Toys R Us. Got to pick a thing or two for the next weekend trip. Groan… Not today, maybe Wednesday, no maybe Thursday or so…
Oh, got to discuss that camping trip right now. So, off to another friend's place for yummy food and yes, to finalize the trip details.
Some restrained conversations.
Went over the checklist. Let’s check the tent.
We wrestled trying to set up a tent without its manual. Almost gave up, when Dharma figured we are missing a piece that joins all the poles. Hunted the garage. How do you spot a 5 inch something in a 3 car garage packed with stuff?
No point. Let’s do this or let’s do that. We’ll figure. It is getting late. So, let’s just pack up, and let tomorrow come.
Ha! Found it, the 5 inch star – in the bag as it was.
Less than 10 minutes to pitch the tent.
So, now that we are done, did we end the day sooner?
Eh, no? What the heck... with so much to chat about, chat, chat, chat some more. Off to bed just by midnight.
Again?
Yup.
I think I’ve read this more place, that only when the water is disturbed say, by a stone the calmness of the water body is appreciated.
The simple regularities of life give a sense of contentment.
Things in place, the mundane hum on.
The mundane threaten the calm.
It is a blessing indeed to have friends - people whom we can simply call, visit, and yap and share food with. Ah, yes the food helps... lost some sleep there, over two days in a row now. Got to catch up that now.
It is worth living...
Monday, April 30, 2007
Can't see ?
“But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, aviator and author of 'The Little Prince'
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, aviator and author of 'The Little Prince'
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
A nice read - Ten Rules for Being Human
I stumbled on to this
http://www.bluinc.com/free/human10.htm
Ten Rules for Being Human
by Cherie Carter-Scott
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.
http://www.bluinc.com/free/human10.htm
Ten Rules for Being Human
by Cherie Carter-Scott
1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Travel
This is from the Sierra Club magazine's outings page (about travel)
Extend your peripheral vision. Travel isn’t just about going places. Done right, it transforms us, expands our capacity to care, and changes our perception of what's possible back home. We believe that responsible .... tourism dismantles stereotypes and helps create a more just, peaceful, and sustainable world. See for yourself on one of these ... unforgettable journeys.
Extend your peripheral vision. Travel isn’t just about going places. Done right, it transforms us, expands our capacity to care, and changes our perception of what's possible back home. We believe that responsible .... tourism dismantles stereotypes and helps create a more just, peaceful, and sustainable world. See for yourself on one of these ... unforgettable journeys.
Monday, February 26, 2007
A simple story
I heard a simple story yesterday that is so very thought provoking. It's been on my mind the whole day today. The person telling the story says that he heard it years ago, and he will never forget its message.
It is the story of a grandfather who went across a field after a night of hevay snow. he calls across to his two grandsons, saying the one who makes it to him in staright paths first will win a reward.
So, one focuses deligently on his step, correcting his path every now and then was checking on his garndfather.
while the other focusses his garndfather completely, and simply runs towards him, making a single straight line.
So, who's the wiser of the two ?
apart from winning the reward, the second chap got his approach right.
If you focus on your way - the details, and the nitty grityy, it will consume you and can easily divert you. you'll spend more energy.
the smart way is to focus on the goal, and you will figure the way !
It is the story of a grandfather who went across a field after a night of hevay snow. he calls across to his two grandsons, saying the one who makes it to him in staright paths first will win a reward.
So, one focuses deligently on his step, correcting his path every now and then was checking on his garndfather.
while the other focusses his garndfather completely, and simply runs towards him, making a single straight line.
So, who's the wiser of the two ?
apart from winning the reward, the second chap got his approach right.
If you focus on your way - the details, and the nitty grityy, it will consume you and can easily divert you. you'll spend more energy.
the smart way is to focus on the goal, and you will figure the way !
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Pretentious ?
Indian movies, I mean a mainstream Indian movie is so pretentious.
A regular movie has the staple song and dance, the 'item' number, a mix of everything irrespective of relevance to effective film making - romance, tragedy, blah....more blah.
Even twisted logic to justify the character .ew!
So what if it is for just 3 hours long? We have all the time in the world.
Amateurish acting attempts by the stars.
Stars tend to put up their star value instead of working sincerely towards the role.
Are these actors? No sire, these are istars, and they rule.
No one seems to care that there are glaring mistakes. Who cares of details? See the bigger picture - the pristine landscape, and the dashing clothes – that’s wow. Who cares of relevance?
Film makers while claiming to make 'family pictures’, tend to forget that people with some reasoning are watching too. Are we all teenagers to be impressed without substance?
Of course, this calls for a debate on 'substance'.
A regular teenager will carry more attitude without speaking a word, while our charming actresses have to actually tell you that - hey, look at me, I have attitude. And then you will know that the character they are playing has attitude. Otherwise how will you know? No chance lady, we wouldn’t have known, and while we might giggle, you won’t be bothered to 'act' out an attitude.
Method acting, subtle nuances, anyone? Nah! That is for serious (read boring) actors.
while the 'character' actors take the pain to delve beneath the skin that they play, the main actors will not be bothered to even speak with a different tone, they are more often than not, mere good looking.
While some will have screen presence and striking looks, they seem to shy away from serious relevant acting. Why bother ? when neither the film makers nor the audience is demanding ? ah! That is smart indeed.
Watch a movie, hear a tune, and you can more often than not catch where that came from - oh, no not another Hollywood idea :((
We love to bash westerns and portray them as weak, characterless sorry folks, just to contrast them with our spotless, lovable superior (in some or the other) folks.
After all this is a creative field, and while cinemas of other countries prove that there are a million ways to creatively portray a story, we are stuck with a dozen or so permutation and combination of the run of the mill formulas.
Maturity ? oh no, don’t even go there.
It beats sense , logic, cinematic creativity.
A nation of a billion people cannot be wrong , no ? of course, we are polite not to mention that the class of the mass. No, no that would be politically incorrect.
Yet we love them.
For people like me, who am so far off, watching Indian movies is a means to connect back. It reminds me of college days ( when I started to watch movies) and the smart-alec comments and the fun that came along.
and so even if we crib and cry over pretentious craft, we will still watch most of what bollywood dishes out.
We will watch what the best cinema of the world offers - amazing acting, and incredible performances, and we will watch our own ostentatious fare too, are we poor souls or what ?
A regular movie has the staple song and dance, the 'item' number, a mix of everything irrespective of relevance to effective film making - romance, tragedy, blah....more blah.
Even twisted logic to justify the character .ew!
So what if it is for just 3 hours long? We have all the time in the world.
Amateurish acting attempts by the stars.
Stars tend to put up their star value instead of working sincerely towards the role.
Are these actors? No sire, these are istars, and they rule.
No one seems to care that there are glaring mistakes. Who cares of details? See the bigger picture - the pristine landscape, and the dashing clothes – that’s wow. Who cares of relevance?
Film makers while claiming to make 'family pictures’, tend to forget that people with some reasoning are watching too. Are we all teenagers to be impressed without substance?
Of course, this calls for a debate on 'substance'.
A regular teenager will carry more attitude without speaking a word, while our charming actresses have to actually tell you that - hey, look at me, I have attitude. And then you will know that the character they are playing has attitude. Otherwise how will you know? No chance lady, we wouldn’t have known, and while we might giggle, you won’t be bothered to 'act' out an attitude.
Method acting, subtle nuances, anyone? Nah! That is for serious (read boring) actors.
while the 'character' actors take the pain to delve beneath the skin that they play, the main actors will not be bothered to even speak with a different tone, they are more often than not, mere good looking.
While some will have screen presence and striking looks, they seem to shy away from serious relevant acting. Why bother ? when neither the film makers nor the audience is demanding ? ah! That is smart indeed.
Watch a movie, hear a tune, and you can more often than not catch where that came from - oh, no not another Hollywood idea :((
We love to bash westerns and portray them as weak, characterless sorry folks, just to contrast them with our spotless, lovable superior (in some or the other) folks.
After all this is a creative field, and while cinemas of other countries prove that there are a million ways to creatively portray a story, we are stuck with a dozen or so permutation and combination of the run of the mill formulas.
Maturity ? oh no, don’t even go there.
It beats sense , logic, cinematic creativity.
A nation of a billion people cannot be wrong , no ? of course, we are polite not to mention that the class of the mass. No, no that would be politically incorrect.
Yet we love them.
For people like me, who am so far off, watching Indian movies is a means to connect back. It reminds me of college days ( when I started to watch movies) and the smart-alec comments and the fun that came along.
and so even if we crib and cry over pretentious craft, we will still watch most of what bollywood dishes out.
We will watch what the best cinema of the world offers - amazing acting, and incredible performances, and we will watch our own ostentatious fare too, are we poor souls or what ?
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
